This is really my first experience in the Rambo series. Never saw the originals, so I don't have that deep connection with the movie than many do, like the nerds that sat behind me.
It really reminds me of Rocky Balboa, the newest Rocky movie. It was like Sylvester decided to take all the movies that made him famous, rehash them, and wreck their good name. Balboa was one giant monologue, and was more unbelievable than Shoot 'Em Up (great movie) with a 60 year old boxer going toe to toe with a 28 year old bad ass. Not happening. Now we get John Rambo (original title), and guess what this movie is about: a 60 year old Nam vet going toe to toe with the 28th battalion of Burmese Rebels (I wish it were that convenient).
Rambo is some old guy chilling outside of the Burma lines just being a broken soul. Crazy religious people come and want to help the victims of the rebels. Don't they just cause all the problems in the world? Crazy religious people, not the rebels I mean. He helps them (cause of a girl) and then they get caught. Rambo and Mercs go to save them. Battle ensues, people die, Rambo badasses and people die. What did you expect? This isn't the Queen.
Before I saw the movie, I got to look at a statistical breakdown of the movies. Kills by Rambo, kills by bad guys, kills per minute. All that fun stuff. It said that approx 236 people die in the movie, 83 by Rambo, 113 by bad guys, 40 by mercs. It came out that 3 and change people died per minute. So I'm expecting a shitshow. But it wasn't. I don't want to rain on parades, but all in all, it was pretty boring. The are a few instances of people dying, but until the last 10 minutes, nothing too exciting happens (expect for one moment when you are left saying "WHAAA? Nay sir, that is not real. Lil over the top Sly").
But Oh Mama, those last 10 minutes. They are worth the price of admission. The moment Rambo gets a hold of that 50 Cal, shit goes down. Most of the kills happen right then. Bullets fly, and people EXPLODE. Limbs, organs, heads; everything goes boom. Any male will enjoy.
I recently had a conversation where I talked about how generally I do not care about acting in a movie. It's an essential part, but I rarely care what distinguishes a AMAZING acting performance from a REALLY GOOD acting performance and all. Sylvester gives however, a TERRIBLE performance, which should leave no jaws dropped. He needs to stop. He got too many punches to the head filming the Rockys. He can't speak, it's mumbled gibberish. And his new HGH built physique? He looks like he's getting ready to film a Frankenstein movie. "I AM NOT A MONSTERRRRRR!!!!"
I have figured out the inspiration of the movie. I think when trying to come up with a plot for Rambo IV, Sly read the Hunchback of Notre Dame (Strike that, saw the Disney movie). It is about a gross monster (Sly) who's soul is touched by a lady and he vows to protect her, but in the end she hooks up with another dude, because after all, he is a monster. Stallone was like, "Let's do that, but have the monster kill a ton of people in badass ways." Script done. Clever girl, but I saw you through.
I give this movie a: meh + ---===HGH==I---] = MEH!!!
Date: 1.26.08
Cost: $0
Running Time: 93 minutes
Companions: Marlon Brando
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 40
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
#4 - Untraceable & # 5 - Meet the Spartans
A double feature? Yes, and quite the odd one at that. I will bust this all chronological on y'all.
7:20 PM: Untraceable
The first question that came to mind when this movie started was: What was Sandra Bullock doing when they filmed this?
Nevertheless, Diane Lane will suffice.
This movie, it comes across as new age, and intelligent. It's a techy thriller that is supposed to get at the soul of the YouTube generation. It however, falls terribly short.
Diane plays a FBI Cyber Cop, catching online crooks, and e-Chris Hansoning people with the help of her boy sidekick, Colin Hanks (which has somehow managed to convince the world he's an upcoming young star, yet is over 30). Colin is the nerdy-ish guy who spends the whole time using dating websites to try to get e-laid.
Then comes this creeper site, with a kitty stuck on fly paper. Sadly, Lulu (I swear I think that's its' name) does not make it, cause America kills it by going to the website. I say America, cause the uber-nerd powned the rest of the world out of viewing the website cause we're the real killer's here (he's a Leet Haxor!!!). This upsets Diane, but not the guys at the place, cause she's well on her way to being a creepy cat lady being a widow and all. Then, a dude pops up on the site. Now we have the worlds attention.
Obviously, as the plot requires, he dies, cause America tuned in, as we do. Then another guy pops up. But, with this one, we get to see the killer. Shenanigans Flag. Hey, producers of Untraceable, do not try to market your movie as an puzzling, intelligent movie when you are going to steal all my fun. Right then, I lost all my fun. No figuring out some criminal mastermind's plot, it's just some creeper kid. (After reviewing the play, Shenanigans are on the play, it is upheld)
From there, the film leads you along like a chimpanzee with a low IQ by the hand, stealing all the mystery and suspense for cheap thrills. Yay, this creeper is smart and pretty much a less gruesome and more basic Jigsaw! At least the Saw movie's attempt to trick you. This just goes bit by predictable bit until the end where all is good with the world.
The gem of this movie was Colin. I have never really been a fan. I've always felt like he came from Tom awkwarding on some woman's leg, and BAM! Colin happened. But in this movie, he is amiable. Plus, revealing something I called from the beginning: Colin falls victim to the 100 Piece Puzzle. It was an impressive death scene, involving water, acid and blinking. But you know what, I challenge Tom to fall victim in a vat of battery acid at the hands of someone who's pissed he missed the Junior Prom. Colin was masterful in that sense, and I feel this will be the springboard for his short, promising career.
The attempted moral of this story is that we Americans are losing our morality and our connection to humanity by our reliance on technology. It is what spurred the movie, and it is what allowed the victim's to die. We are supposed to feel bad that fake uses, like the skater under the bridge on his Sidekick logging on watching fellow humans die. If this is true, it is only slight. Remember, a couple hundred years ago a bunch of girls in Massachusetts got a bunch of people hung for being witches, much to the entertainment of the masses. I think we're fine.
This movie will keep your attention, but don't expect much in the form of intelligence. It's dumbed down for the masses it's criticizing, but that only keeps it from rising from an OK movie to a good one. It is watchable. I give it a 1337 M3#.
Date: 1.25.08
Cost: $8
Running Time: 101 minutes
Companions: Steve Carell
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 61
10:00 PM: Meet the Spartans
I don't know what I was expecting. I really don't. I walked in with the honest belief I would enjoy myself. Silly me.
This movie was pretty god awful. I liked Scary Movie, but the rest have been a downward spiral (Scary Movie 2 was an abomination against God though). So all I can really do for this movie is talk about the few things I liked in it. Cause if I wanted to tell you what was wrong with it, you would be reading the script with a whole hell of a lot of red highlighting.
First off, the Pit of Death thing. You would expect from the trailer that it's just a joke that gets abused and over used. Wrong. It is used a good chunk, but in my opinion, not enough. I really could have sat there for the hour + and watched various people get kicked in. I think I would have enjoyed it more. I feel, the joke needed at least 5 more minutes of screen time.
It was good to see some old chums. The moment I saw Kevin Sorbo in that trailer, I knew I wanted to see this. I was a Hercules fan growing up, and I have missed him. He was made for this role. PLUS! In one of their most clever jokes, he gets to scream "I'm gonna go Hercules on your ass!" Pimp. Yay reference to my younger days. Also, we get to see Diedrich Bader (Oswald from Drew Carey Show) back again. I have missed him as well. He's been working, but no one's seen or cared.
The true bright spot of this movie is Leonidas (I could say the same for the movie it is spoofing). I have to say I enjoyed Sean Maguire's performance, even though he just had to play a dip shit. He intrigues me, and I await his future career (I would also like to hear his music, as he is a bona fide Bo Jackson double threat).
Lastly, and probably the most pitiful part, was the finale. At the very end of the movie, the cast sang "I Will Survive" American Idol style. That truly was the best part of the movie in my eyes. Take that how you will.
My problem with this movie, and what has become of this spoof franchise is that there are no longer about the movies. There are far too many pop culture references in these movies. I do not care about Britney Spear's crazy ass, and I especially don't care about 4 or 5 references in a movie. They need to cut out the stuff that no one will remember out and stick with just spoofing movies.
This movie is the Walmart $5 dollar movie bin of movies, and to be honest, when I find this in there in 10 months, I will not buy it. MAYBE if it's on the $1 movie rack with the god awful Kung Fu movies. Honestly, I think if you stuck me in a room with 5 buddies, 5 cases of High Life and 5 hours with the VH1 channel we could write this movie. I give this movie a big ole meewhhhaatt (That is me saying meh while throwing up).
Date: 1.25.08
Cost: $8
Running Time: 84 minutes
Companions: Steve Carell
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 96
7:20 PM: Untraceable
The first question that came to mind when this movie started was: What was Sandra Bullock doing when they filmed this?
Nevertheless, Diane Lane will suffice.
This movie, it comes across as new age, and intelligent. It's a techy thriller that is supposed to get at the soul of the YouTube generation. It however, falls terribly short.
Diane plays a FBI Cyber Cop, catching online crooks, and e-Chris Hansoning people with the help of her boy sidekick, Colin Hanks (which has somehow managed to convince the world he's an upcoming young star, yet is over 30). Colin is the nerdy-ish guy who spends the whole time using dating websites to try to get e-laid.
Then comes this creeper site, with a kitty stuck on fly paper. Sadly, Lulu (I swear I think that's its' name) does not make it, cause America kills it by going to the website. I say America, cause the uber-nerd powned the rest of the world out of viewing the website cause we're the real killer's here (he's a Leet Haxor!!!). This upsets Diane, but not the guys at the place, cause she's well on her way to being a creepy cat lady being a widow and all. Then, a dude pops up on the site. Now we have the worlds attention.
Obviously, as the plot requires, he dies, cause America tuned in, as we do. Then another guy pops up. But, with this one, we get to see the killer. Shenanigans Flag. Hey, producers of Untraceable, do not try to market your movie as an puzzling, intelligent movie when you are going to steal all my fun. Right then, I lost all my fun. No figuring out some criminal mastermind's plot, it's just some creeper kid. (After reviewing the play, Shenanigans are on the play, it is upheld)
From there, the film leads you along like a chimpanzee with a low IQ by the hand, stealing all the mystery and suspense for cheap thrills. Yay, this creeper is smart and pretty much a less gruesome and more basic Jigsaw! At least the Saw movie's attempt to trick you. This just goes bit by predictable bit until the end where all is good with the world.
The gem of this movie was Colin. I have never really been a fan. I've always felt like he came from Tom awkwarding on some woman's leg, and BAM! Colin happened. But in this movie, he is amiable. Plus, revealing something I called from the beginning: Colin falls victim to the 100 Piece Puzzle. It was an impressive death scene, involving water, acid and blinking. But you know what, I challenge Tom to fall victim in a vat of battery acid at the hands of someone who's pissed he missed the Junior Prom. Colin was masterful in that sense, and I feel this will be the springboard for his short, promising career.
The attempted moral of this story is that we Americans are losing our morality and our connection to humanity by our reliance on technology. It is what spurred the movie, and it is what allowed the victim's to die. We are supposed to feel bad that fake uses, like the skater under the bridge on his Sidekick logging on watching fellow humans die. If this is true, it is only slight. Remember, a couple hundred years ago a bunch of girls in Massachusetts got a bunch of people hung for being witches, much to the entertainment of the masses. I think we're fine.
This movie will keep your attention, but don't expect much in the form of intelligence. It's dumbed down for the masses it's criticizing, but that only keeps it from rising from an OK movie to a good one. It is watchable. I give it a 1337 M3#.
Date: 1.25.08
Cost: $8
Running Time: 101 minutes
Companions: Steve Carell
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 61
10:00 PM: Meet the Spartans
I don't know what I was expecting. I really don't. I walked in with the honest belief I would enjoy myself. Silly me.
This movie was pretty god awful. I liked Scary Movie, but the rest have been a downward spiral (Scary Movie 2 was an abomination against God though). So all I can really do for this movie is talk about the few things I liked in it. Cause if I wanted to tell you what was wrong with it, you would be reading the script with a whole hell of a lot of red highlighting.
First off, the Pit of Death thing. You would expect from the trailer that it's just a joke that gets abused and over used. Wrong. It is used a good chunk, but in my opinion, not enough. I really could have sat there for the hour + and watched various people get kicked in. I think I would have enjoyed it more. I feel, the joke needed at least 5 more minutes of screen time.
It was good to see some old chums. The moment I saw Kevin Sorbo in that trailer, I knew I wanted to see this. I was a Hercules fan growing up, and I have missed him. He was made for this role. PLUS! In one of their most clever jokes, he gets to scream "I'm gonna go Hercules on your ass!" Pimp. Yay reference to my younger days. Also, we get to see Diedrich Bader (Oswald from Drew Carey Show) back again. I have missed him as well. He's been working, but no one's seen or cared.
The true bright spot of this movie is Leonidas (I could say the same for the movie it is spoofing). I have to say I enjoyed Sean Maguire's performance, even though he just had to play a dip shit. He intrigues me, and I await his future career (I would also like to hear his music, as he is a bona fide Bo Jackson double threat).
Lastly, and probably the most pitiful part, was the finale. At the very end of the movie, the cast sang "I Will Survive" American Idol style. That truly was the best part of the movie in my eyes. Take that how you will.
My problem with this movie, and what has become of this spoof franchise is that there are no longer about the movies. There are far too many pop culture references in these movies. I do not care about Britney Spear's crazy ass, and I especially don't care about 4 or 5 references in a movie. They need to cut out the stuff that no one will remember out and stick with just spoofing movies.
This movie is the Walmart $5 dollar movie bin of movies, and to be honest, when I find this in there in 10 months, I will not buy it. MAYBE if it's on the $1 movie rack with the god awful Kung Fu movies. Honestly, I think if you stuck me in a room with 5 buddies, 5 cases of High Life and 5 hours with the VH1 channel we could write this movie. I give this movie a big ole meewhhhaatt (That is me saying meh while throwing up).
Date: 1.25.08
Cost: $8
Running Time: 84 minutes
Companions: Steve Carell
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 96
Sunday, January 20, 2008
#3 - 27 Dresses
This may make me rather unpopular, but I am going to say what I need to say. Members of the female persuasion will not want to speak with me, but it is a burden I must bear.
THIS MOVIE SUCKED!!!!
Oh it sucked so hard. I legitimately wanted to leave the theater half way through, but out of conviction to the complete what I set out to do, I stayed. I sat the latter half squirming in irritation and discomfort. Upon arriving home, I wandered the halls aimlessly, so flustered over how bad this movie was. I have never, ever felt such a rage from a film. I am serious in saying it ruined my day.
And here's the thing... I will come out and admit I enjoy chick flicks. I love a good Rom Com. It took a couple of tries, but hell, I even like The Notebook. I entered this movie expecting to enjoy it. I am a fan of Izzy. I am also in allegiance with James Marsden, as he was Cyclops and a Delt. But it betrayed me. Maybe that is why I am so mad. I trusted it, and it betrayed me.
Or maybe it was because it sucked.
Izzy is your every day I do everything for those around me cause I don't want to deal with my own baggage kind of people. But you like her, cause she's Izzy. She is always the bridesmaid. Then her bratty little sister makes the man she loves fall in love with her and wants Izzy to plan it all. Cue Scott Summers, who is a cynical and damaged Wedding Story writer who likes her from the beginning, but she's too busy being in love with her douche boss and throwing herself a pity party to care. But you still like her, cause she's Izzy.
Alright, that's all well and good, but what pissed me off you ask. Well, I will tell you. First off, this movie was like the Pursuit of Happyness aimed directly at women. Izzy just constantly shit on, it just keeps going. Always a bridesmaid, guy she loves goes after her little sister, nice guy perceived as a douche keeps bugging her, sister gets the dead mom's wedding dress that Izzy likes but the sister really doesn't (and later hems the living hell out of it). It just keeps getting bad. And this is supposed to be entertainment. I hope this isn't want women want. I truly hope your desire isn't to get to rock bottom before love comes your way. If it is, I feel bad for you, as everyone felt bad for her.
So then the hit parade keeps a coming. She finally starts to appreciate Cyke, and they end up in a po-dunk bar hammerfaced, and what happens: they hook up. Yay drunken hook ups. They just really want to make you feel good about this movie. They rob you any good feelings about the two of them getting together. Because it's everyone's dream to not remember their first time with their future husband/wife. Kudos writers.
So she extracts her revenge and screws over her little sister, revealing her for a fraud just to get with her loverboy. But do we get to feel good for it: NOPE. She is made to feel bad by her whore friend, the comic relief (we get to laugh at how much of a slut she is, being slightly jealous of how much play she gets). So she finally admits to her boss that she was in love, and then....they kiss! How fucking absurd. But neither feels anything so she quits cause he doesn't appreciate her. She goes after James because she finally realized that he does appreciate her, and yay she finally got the wedding she deserves.
So as I have said, I am an Izzy fan. She has always been fun to watch, and I would be lying if I didn't say that she is pretty smoking too. Why I ask then, did they have to Ug her up so much? I actually like the brown hair. And I am admittedly no expert on women's fashion (there are many out there who say I have no fashion sense at all), but she had some of the most unattractive outfits possible. I completely believe that they purposely ugged her up for this role. I just want to know why.
Really, the major reason I hate this movie is cause of its' attitude. I would say it's a man basher, but it really isn't. There are two male love interests in this, the guy she loves isn't really much of a douche, he just takes her for granted (I may be the chauvinist, but it probably has SOME, not all but something to do with her being an enabler). The other, James, does eventually screw her over, but really didn't mean to. He actually comes out being the most genuine and thoroughly good character. So no man bashing. It really comes down to the whole depressing thing. It's like they want to torture the audience (as demographics go, females 18-34, the boyfriends that get dragged along, and the few relentless moviegoers who make mistakes on the films they choose). Why do you do that? There are many possibilities, and I do not feel like speculating. Whatever they are, I do not like them.
There is a benefit to having seen this movie this year. From now on, I can say "Well why not, it can't be worse than 27 Dresses." I am placing this movie at 99 on my anticipated rankings of the year, leaving the door open for the potential god awful movie, maybe Hostel 3, or anything made by the Sci Fi, Lifetime, TNT, CBS networks that makes it to the silver screen. I give it nothing, because that is what it deserves.
Date: 1.19.08
Cost: $8
Running Time: 107 minutes
Companions: Steve Carell
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 99
THIS MOVIE SUCKED!!!!
Oh it sucked so hard. I legitimately wanted to leave the theater half way through, but out of conviction to the complete what I set out to do, I stayed. I sat the latter half squirming in irritation and discomfort. Upon arriving home, I wandered the halls aimlessly, so flustered over how bad this movie was. I have never, ever felt such a rage from a film. I am serious in saying it ruined my day.
And here's the thing... I will come out and admit I enjoy chick flicks. I love a good Rom Com. It took a couple of tries, but hell, I even like The Notebook. I entered this movie expecting to enjoy it. I am a fan of Izzy. I am also in allegiance with James Marsden, as he was Cyclops and a Delt. But it betrayed me. Maybe that is why I am so mad. I trusted it, and it betrayed me.
Or maybe it was because it sucked.
Izzy is your every day I do everything for those around me cause I don't want to deal with my own baggage kind of people. But you like her, cause she's Izzy. She is always the bridesmaid. Then her bratty little sister makes the man she loves fall in love with her and wants Izzy to plan it all. Cue Scott Summers, who is a cynical and damaged Wedding Story writer who likes her from the beginning, but she's too busy being in love with her douche boss and throwing herself a pity party to care. But you still like her, cause she's Izzy.
Alright, that's all well and good, but what pissed me off you ask. Well, I will tell you. First off, this movie was like the Pursuit of Happyness aimed directly at women. Izzy just constantly shit on, it just keeps going. Always a bridesmaid, guy she loves goes after her little sister, nice guy perceived as a douche keeps bugging her, sister gets the dead mom's wedding dress that Izzy likes but the sister really doesn't (and later hems the living hell out of it). It just keeps getting bad. And this is supposed to be entertainment. I hope this isn't want women want. I truly hope your desire isn't to get to rock bottom before love comes your way. If it is, I feel bad for you, as everyone felt bad for her.
So then the hit parade keeps a coming. She finally starts to appreciate Cyke, and they end up in a po-dunk bar hammerfaced, and what happens: they hook up. Yay drunken hook ups. They just really want to make you feel good about this movie. They rob you any good feelings about the two of them getting together. Because it's everyone's dream to not remember their first time with their future husband/wife. Kudos writers.
So she extracts her revenge and screws over her little sister, revealing her for a fraud just to get with her loverboy. But do we get to feel good for it: NOPE. She is made to feel bad by her whore friend, the comic relief (we get to laugh at how much of a slut she is, being slightly jealous of how much play she gets). So she finally admits to her boss that she was in love, and then....they kiss! How fucking absurd. But neither feels anything so she quits cause he doesn't appreciate her. She goes after James because she finally realized that he does appreciate her, and yay she finally got the wedding she deserves.
So as I have said, I am an Izzy fan. She has always been fun to watch, and I would be lying if I didn't say that she is pretty smoking too. Why I ask then, did they have to Ug her up so much? I actually like the brown hair. And I am admittedly no expert on women's fashion (there are many out there who say I have no fashion sense at all), but she had some of the most unattractive outfits possible. I completely believe that they purposely ugged her up for this role. I just want to know why.
Really, the major reason I hate this movie is cause of its' attitude. I would say it's a man basher, but it really isn't. There are two male love interests in this, the guy she loves isn't really much of a douche, he just takes her for granted (I may be the chauvinist, but it probably has SOME, not all but something to do with her being an enabler). The other, James, does eventually screw her over, but really didn't mean to. He actually comes out being the most genuine and thoroughly good character. So no man bashing. It really comes down to the whole depressing thing. It's like they want to torture the audience (as demographics go, females 18-34, the boyfriends that get dragged along, and the few relentless moviegoers who make mistakes on the films they choose). Why do you do that? There are many possibilities, and I do not feel like speculating. Whatever they are, I do not like them.
There is a benefit to having seen this movie this year. From now on, I can say "Well why not, it can't be worse than 27 Dresses." I am placing this movie at 99 on my anticipated rankings of the year, leaving the door open for the potential god awful movie, maybe Hostel 3, or anything made by the Sci Fi, Lifetime, TNT, CBS networks that makes it to the silver screen. I give it nothing, because that is what it deserves.
Date: 1.19.08
Cost: $8
Running Time: 107 minutes
Companions: Steve Carell
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 99
Saturday, January 19, 2008
#2 - Cloverfield
This is a movie I have been waiting for a long time. The moment we got that trailer with Transformers, all vague yet awesome, I was stoked to see this. The viral campaigning that JJ and Co did only stoked my flames, and I admittedly did not go that deep into it all, merely keeping up with all the buzz. With all the anticipation, there were really only two options for this film: fall flat on its' face or absolutely kick ass.
It did the latter.
I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. I loathe The Blair Witch Project which many compare this to because of the hand cam style. But this movie was just awesome through and through. You don't know much about the characters really, there's a going away party for one of the guys, and there's girl drama. Back story, check. From there, it really becomes, "OH SHIT, there's a giant something owning NYC, RUN!" And you would think, a plot like that should suck, but it honestly doesn't.
I would have to say my favorite thing in the movie, aside from its' general awesomeness, was the humor that came out of it. It really all exuded from Hud, the guy with the camera. He is dumb as nails, and spends the entire movie hitting on a chick, even while running from the Oh Shit Monster and its' minions (Spoiler in white, highlight at your own risk). Humor is often used to break or ease the tension in horror movies and in this it succeeds.
The other thing I really have to saw about this movie, and I think what makes it such a good movie, is that throughout it, it almost seems believable. It probably is the camera style, and just the general attitude of the script, but you are sitting there thinking wow, this could actually be happening. That's pretty impressive considering the movie is solely about a giant monster f'ing over New York.
I want to see this again. Reason A is I did not get a poster like the people at the other movie theater did, and it is an awesome one that I would frame. But B because it is a JJ Abrams movie, and I bet there's a lot more to it. That's just how JJ rolls, and I eat it up. And last, a bonus to all you who have not seen it, apparently there is something after the credits, which is foolishly (I can't believe I forgot to stay) did not see.
In the end, even with the movie making me dizzy at times, confused at others, I loved it. This gives me hope for Star Trek, because apparently whatever JJ touches turns to gold. I give this movie an awesomely stunning, yet still vague meh.
Date: 1.18.08
Cost: $8
Running Time: 84 minutes
Companions: Paige O'Hara
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 3
It did the latter.
I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. I loathe The Blair Witch Project which many compare this to because of the hand cam style. But this movie was just awesome through and through. You don't know much about the characters really, there's a going away party for one of the guys, and there's girl drama. Back story, check. From there, it really becomes, "OH SHIT, there's a giant something owning NYC, RUN!" And you would think, a plot like that should suck, but it honestly doesn't.
I would have to say my favorite thing in the movie, aside from its' general awesomeness, was the humor that came out of it. It really all exuded from Hud, the guy with the camera. He is dumb as nails, and spends the entire movie hitting on a chick, even while running from the Oh Shit Monster and its' minions (Spoiler in white, highlight at your own risk). Humor is often used to break or ease the tension in horror movies and in this it succeeds.
The other thing I really have to saw about this movie, and I think what makes it such a good movie, is that throughout it, it almost seems believable. It probably is the camera style, and just the general attitude of the script, but you are sitting there thinking wow, this could actually be happening. That's pretty impressive considering the movie is solely about a giant monster f'ing over New York.
I want to see this again. Reason A is I did not get a poster like the people at the other movie theater did, and it is an awesome one that I would frame. But B because it is a JJ Abrams movie, and I bet there's a lot more to it. That's just how JJ rolls, and I eat it up. And last, a bonus to all you who have not seen it, apparently there is something after the credits, which is foolishly (I can't believe I forgot to stay) did not see.
In the end, even with the movie making me dizzy at times, confused at others, I loved it. This gives me hope for Star Trek, because apparently whatever JJ touches turns to gold. I give this movie an awesomely stunning, yet still vague meh.
Date: 1.18.08
Cost: $8
Running Time: 84 minutes
Companions: Paige O'Hara
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 3
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
#1 - The Bucket List
Personally, I would have titled this "1001 Things To See Before You Die: The Movie." Basic story line, 2 old guys with cancer about to die go nuts cause one of them is rich and try to live life to the fullest. Jack plays the rich asshole, Morgan plays the poor nice guy who's never done anything for himself. The first third of the movie looks like we are going to go through another Pursuit of Happyness, where they just depress you forever. They did a good job at it, watching them go through their cancer treatment, its pretty gruesome. But it picked up and jumped right into all the pleasure seeking all the old people go to see it for.
The strength of this movie is in the hot spot jumping, but more so the writing. The script was ok at best, but I will admit it had some gems. Every once in a while, one of the characters, more often Morgan, would bust out a pure gold one liner that would make it all worth it. Also, Sean Hayes character of the assistant was a great addition to the overall movie.
So, if you're a fan of Gerontology or wanna see a "Where's Where to Go in the World" this movie is for you. It gets a humbly aged meh.
Date: 1.15.08
Cost: $5
Running Time: 97 minutes
Companions: Danny DeVito, André Roussimoff, Shirley Temple
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 76
The strength of this movie is in the hot spot jumping, but more so the writing. The script was ok at best, but I will admit it had some gems. Every once in a while, one of the characters, more often Morgan, would bust out a pure gold one liner that would make it all worth it. Also, Sean Hayes character of the assistant was a great addition to the overall movie.
So, if you're a fan of Gerontology or wanna see a "Where's Where to Go in the World" this movie is for you. It gets a humbly aged meh.
Date: 1.15.08
Cost: $5
Running Time: 97 minutes
Companions: Danny DeVito, André Roussimoff, Shirley Temple
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 76
A Little More Background
Greetings all! It has been a little while. Yes, yes I know that I am severely behind schedule, and it has already brought out nay sayers. 3.3 days. I need to watch a movie every 3.3 days to do it. It is now 15 days in and I am at 1 (review following).
But here's the deal...I'm not worried. Here's a few more facts for you. Last year, I watched 51 movies in the theaters. So I practically need to double it to the pessimist. But I look at it like this. If you look at the list of the Top 50 movies in 2007, I neglected to see 21 of the top 50. So right there I'm almost 3/4s done. One more fact: in 2007, 630 movies were released. So if 2008 mirrors it I only need to see a sixth of movies. Yeah, there are plenty of Indie Movies, Foreign Films and Movie aimed at demographics that Bangor won't try to attract, but I think I'm fine.
But here's the deal...I'm not worried. Here's a few more facts for you. Last year, I watched 51 movies in the theaters. So I practically need to double it to the pessimist. But I look at it like this. If you look at the list of the Top 50 movies in 2007, I neglected to see 21 of the top 50. So right there I'm almost 3/4s done. One more fact: in 2007, 630 movies were released. So if 2008 mirrors it I only need to see a sixth of movies. Yeah, there are plenty of Indie Movies, Foreign Films and Movie aimed at demographics that Bangor won't try to attract, but I think I'm fine.
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