So we've done the double feature thing. Twice. I have always been a person who participates in constant one upping. So, naturally I will go the way of the razors. Two was good, but three is much better. Movies Mach 3.
Ever since I saw the Be Kind, Rewind trailer, I knew I needed to see it. A few of my compatriots felt the same way. Over the past few months, we have watched the trailer over a hundred times, and reference it constantly. When we came to the sad truth that Bangor is going to be indeed lame, and we needed to venture to Portland to see it, we knew what we had to do: plan a day of movies anchored by Be Kind, Rewind.
So we did it. We planned out the perfect day, making it so we could maximize our viewing pleasure. We decided to see the big new release for the week, Vantage Point, and then I convinced the guys to see a movie whose trailer I fell in love with, In Bruges. The stage was set...
2:40 - Be Kind, Rewind
So our first movie was the one we anchored the weekend around. This was in a new theater in SoPo, and god what an experience. This place was what a theater should be. It had a bar/restaurant, a creeper piano that played itself and you selected your seats when you bought your tickets. But then in the theaters, you got to sit on God's thrown. They had leather executive chairs that were huge, and instead of just the back reclining, the whole seat did. AMAZING.
So the movie. It's almost a buddy buddy movie. Mos Def plays a naive VHS rental place clerk. Jack Black plays his best friend, who is a retarded junk yard owner who loiters in the store. Danny Glover plays the old crazy guy who owns the store.
The other major character in this is Fats Waller, something like that. He is some old, fat jazz player from the area. He supposedly was born in the video store, and Danny Glover has spoon feed Mos stories about him for years. All the main characters have a mild obsession with this guy.
I said Jack Black was retarded, and he was. He was one of those crazy, paranoid, the government is trying to eat our brains kinda guys. He wants to destroy the power plant near buy. Retardedly, he throws a giant piece of metal into the transformer. Naturally, he elected the shit electrocuted out of him, which for some reason magnetized him.
So the next day he goes into the store, and his magnetic brain erases all of the tapes. There is now a VHS store with blanks tapes, and the three customers demand they outdated movie mediums. To make up for that, they decide to film their own version of the movies they rent. They start out with Ghostbusters, which is hilarious, and pretty much what they show in the trailer. The move on to other movies, like Robocop, Rush Hour 2 and others. The few customers, who can also be described as naive, love these movies, and business grows. They do more and more movies (in movie making montages), and make more and more money, which they need to renovate the building to meet code (something I neglected to mention earlier, plot discontinuity in my review).
But then the Government gets pissed off, and shuts them down, destroying all the tapes. Oh whoa is them. All is lost. So they decide to make a real movie, a biopic (more Ray, less Walk the Line) about the Fat guy. They enlist the whole area to help play the different parts. Everyone have fun with it, bringing together the old and young, the different races, the straight laced and the degenerates. In the end, everyone loves the movie.
So far, I have used the word naive many times. That is what this movie really is. Every character is extremely naive, nice, but all in all pretty stupid. In essence, that is the overall tone of the movie. but you have to like it. The best way to put this, and I mean this in no offense, this movie is like a mentally challenged child. They are not the most intelligent creature on the world, and they sometimes defy logic and reason, but they mean well and they warm your heart. I legitimately came out of this movie with that warm fuzzy, mom's cookie's feeling in my tummy.
Don't get me wrong, this movie is hilarious. The spoofs themselves provide for some of the greatest and funniest parts of the movies. In creating these movies, they take some of the greatest movies of all time, and make them funny, whether they are supposed to our not. The movie montage was pure gold. But also, the interactions, the small parts of the movie are also extremely funny.
This is one of the best movies of the year. Sadly, few people will get the chance to see it. This will most likely not reach very far, and not too many people will see it until the dvd comes out. When that does, rent it, buy it. Hell, borrow it from me, cause I will have it. Do whatever your can to see it. hem yzzuf, mraw, gib taerg a siht evig I.
Date: 2.23.08
Cost: $8.00
Running Time: 101 minutes
Companions: Danny DeVito, André Roussimoff
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 5
4:45 PM - Vantage Point
Same theater, different screen. This one we got to see on their flagship screen. Oh what a screen. This screen, while also bigger, was like super digital, HD-rific. It was crisp, it was sharp. It was a visual orgasm. Ehhh, ehhhhhh, BAM!
Vantage Point is trying something new. It is about a plot to kill the President of the US (William Hurt) at a peace rally. He goes, and he speaks and then he gets shot. A few minutes later, the stage blows up. Damn was that explosion cool. From there, the whole thing rewinds (they were kind) and it starts over from a different perspective.
Overall, they perform this from a few perspectives, including the news crew filming it, a veteran body guard (Dennis Quaid), the President, some random Spanish police officer, a American tourist (Forest Whitaker) and the terrorists. With each new perspective, we gain a little more knowledge to what the hell is going on. We learn things like Dennis already took a bullet for the President once, and now is jittery on the job. Things like the President is a body double, cause they knew he was gonna get owned (Which makes me believe we actually do it. Saddam did it, its a good choice. I want a body double damn it.). Things like a girl spilled ice cream on Forest.
I will admit the rewind trick got old sometimes. There were a few interactions that were replayed that lost the novelty, and became boring. I feel as though if they couldn't offer us something new, then I don't care. This part was a place where the filmmakers could have improved. HOWEVER. HOWEVER, I am more than confident in saying I could have watched that explosion from 1,372 perspectives. Loved it, every time. Maybe it was the uber screen. But it was just so cool, it made it all worth it.
About half way through the movie, we end the rewind shenanigans and just become a regular old action movie. I don't know what I feel about this. It was refreshing watching it, as it was much more fast paced, and we learned a lot quickly. It was action packed and entertaining. However, I feel that if the schtick of this movie was to be in the perspectives, then it betrayed its' original purpose and the fans who saw it for it. The writer's should have been able to do it all the way through, and done it so it wasn't just a complete repetition of the same things. They should have been better (or they should have hired me).
The best part about this movie was the climax (that's what she said). At the end, after all of the plot shenanigans, you hit that point where it wraps up. I will give many kudos to the writers, director and everyone for doing this in the coolest way possible. They do this really pimp slow mo, fast sweep, transitioning from person to person (essentially main perspective to perspective) to see where they are all at in the end. It was fucking epic. They all managed, as the often conveniently do, came to a similar place in the globe for the show down. You see who is doing what (including some lying on the ground dead). Bravo.
This movie was fun, I can say that. I enjoyed the concept, but it deviated too far to be true to it. It was boring at times, but revived itself at others. It had some cool effects, and some decent twists. But overall, I just enjoyed it and had fun. So I can't cut the movie down too far. I give this movie a meh. (WHA?!?!??? Just a meh, nothing catchy, witty you say. Well sadly, I am forced to give you a meh in 2D. I would like to give you the meh in multiple ways, like looking down on it and seeing a pair of boobs next to an arch next to a house with a chimney (my imagination) but I can't. So imagine it.)
Date: 2.23.08
Cost: $8.00
Running Time: 90 minutes
Companions: Danny DeVito, André Roussimoff
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 33
7:00 PM - In Bruges
Very easily, this movie is the greatest movie you've never heard of. Simply put. How many of you, aside from the numerous people I assaulted to see one specific (and later highlighted) point in the trailer have heard of it? Few of you.
So not many of you would know this Indie movie starring Colin Farrell, Brenden Gleeson, and Ralph (pronounced Raif) Fiennes. But you should, cause it's HILARIOUS! Hilarious with a twist...
Colin revives his career as a young hit man getting into the game. On his first hit, shit goes down (jaw dropping). His boss Ralph sends him and Brenden (partner) to Bruges, Belgium for some downtime. Bruges is a touristy, medieval city. Brenden loves it, Colin hates it. That is because Colin is a hilariously cynical person. He hates Bruges, and likens it to Hell.
Well, Brenden is supposed to kill Colin for botching the job, which he fails to do (that is not a big spoiler). So Ralph comes to finish the job. It ends in a gory, triumphant spectacle. I will not ruin the awesomeness (or gorishness for some).
As I said, this movie is hilarious. Now having heard the synopsis, you would call me a liar. But it's true. It is punch after punch of hilarious jabs. Everything that comes out of Colin's mouth is pure gold. On top of that, it has some of the funniest dialogue and situations possible. One of the biggest on going jokes is about the midget that they find. He is a movie star shooting a movie in Bruges, chock full of shenanigans, including a theory on a all out racial war including midgets, and prosititutes. And hands down the funniest part is where a coked up Colin karate chops the coked up midget in the neck (hilarious part from the trailer). I wanted to emulate the midget and roll on the floor.
And the end. It's dark, but I found it hilarious (where my compatriots did not). It is gory, and extremely dark. But there's irony, and hilarity if you look for it. I am a big fan of irony, and have a slightly twisted sense of humor, so it lent itself well to me.
The existence of this movie proves the existence of other amazing indies, that my uncultured region has kept from me. It is now my duty to culturize it. I guess I now have to open a movie theater at some point. We'll see. I give this a movie a meagh (that would be a Belgian meh, if they had one.)
Date: 2.23.08
Cost: $8.00
Running Time: 107 minutes
Companions: Danny DeVito, André Roussimoff
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 4
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