#7 - Strange Wilderness

I was really expecting to write this post much, much later in the year. But, life is full of surprises, and I must embrace it.

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, WE HAVE 100.

This is a bold statement, and it may come back to bite me, but this is the worst movie of 2008.

Oh how terrible this movie was. We were all going into this hoping for another Grandma's Boy hidden gem, but this was not the case.

How was this movie terrible? Let me count the ways.

First off, the story, although full of potential, was god awful. It became a constant, "Oh no, they went there. It can't get worse...Sweet Jesus, it has. Really? REALLY? Was that necessary? Can't you come up with something better?"

Steve Zahn plays a stoner wildlife show host who leads a band of idiots. They're show sucks, and it's gonna get cancelled. They master this plot to find Bigfoot to save the show. So the whole retarded group set out, including Justin Long, Allen Covert (the guy that is in every Adam Sandler movie), Johan Hill, Peter Dante (the other guy that's in every Adam Sandler movie), Farva and Ashley Scott. I have enjoyed them all seperately, so you'd think they would put together a half decent movie. Nope.

Over the course of the course of this movie, you got some terrible slapstick humor, a turkey eating penis coupled with a rubbery strechy penis joke, a million and a half BAD stoner jokes (I may not smoke the reefer, but I do find movies like Grandma's Boy and Pick of Destiny funny), a multilated penis joke, and a bunch of other failed ones. Some were painful.

I will admit I laughed at some of the jokes, more than my compatriots. To be honest, now 7 hours later I have forgotten most of them. The shark part from the trailer is in the movie, and is one of the best parts. I also appreciated the Bigfoot suicide, which many did not. Overall, I only laughed at how retarded this movie was, which I did do and liked about Shoot Em Up, but this movie actually took itself seriously.

The acting was absolutely terrible......

Date: 2.1.08
Cost: $8
Running Time: 86 minutes
Companions: Danny DeVito, André Roussimoff, Steve Carell
Anticipated Spot on the 100: 100


Post Script: I wrote all of the above the night I saw this movie, but was terribly uninspired and decided to not finish. Just didn't have it in me. So returning to it, I have decided the perfect way to finish it. I will now emulate the script of the movie on my blog. I hope you enjoy.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, roll credits.

This movie owes me a meh, cause it robbed me of it.